Hello, marketers. Your media agency is calling a thousand times. By Mark Chaves, general manager, innovation and strategy, at Carat Malaysia.

When Adele released her record-breaking video for ‘Hello’, the world was quick to jump and make memes about it. One noticeable frame is her using a flip phone. For a song that’s so current, partly shot with IMAX no less, and from a young artist at 27 (or 25 if we go by her ‘record age’), seeing a flip phone should have elicited this or from an audience obsessed with the latest.

Her director clarified the context, and he quipped, “Those things – iPhones, laptops, all those elements – bring me back to reality. That’s not what you want.”

Reality. These technologies are reality amongst millions. And how are we capitalising on this? I have observed some fascinating behaviours among people I know when it comes to their relationships with their mobile phones. If by these accounts alone we cannot find a reason to think and do mobile, we’re maybe better off with the flip kind, and be contented saying ‘Hello’ on the current side:

1. All by yourself? Mobile’s a company. For hours.

2. Are you in a group with nothing left to talk about? See #1.

3. Capturing a solo moment? A selfie. Group? Groufie. Capturing still life? Mobile phones have given everyone the license to be a photographer.

4. Related to #3, more time is spent choosing the best filters than posing for the actual photo.

5. And the best moments deserve a perfect #hashtag.

6. You consider, “Why are you being anti-social?” or, “I’m here in front of you. Talk to me.” as threats.

7. You mute your phone so as not to be distracted, however, you want it to vibrate “just in case”.

8. …and when it does, you wonder “who could that be?”

9. In front of the television watching Comedy Central, but simultaneously laughing at 9Gag on mobile feed.

10. Secretly wishing for traffic jam or a red light so you can send a message while the car is at rest.

11. And inside the vehicle, you take a #jamfie or #carfie.

12. Daily essential: fully-charged battery juice pack.

13. …because seeing “low battery” gives you more palpitation than coffee.

14. Other causes of palpitations: FOBO, FOMO, FOLB, FOND, FONS.

15. Your favorite “pit stops”? Places to charge your batteries: car, office, home, restaurants.

16. People know the essentials before leaving the house: mobile phone, wallet, car keys.

17. Mobile phone is a focus media – you rarely multi-task once engaged.

18. “Tell me what your apps are, and I will tell you who you are.” Is probably true.

19. …and you rearrange your apps once in 3 months to optimise screen real estate.

20. Sometimes you want to read more messages than listen to a voice call.

21. Music streaming keeps sanity intact.

22. You are more forgiving to ads in a mobile screen than on your desktop.

23. …and you tend to remember mobile ads more – annoying or otherwise.

24. Inside the house, phones must be heard at all times so as not to miss anything important.

25. And if you do, you apologize as if it was your responsibility to be on call 27/4.

26. “WIFI available” is now as ubiquitous “No Smoking.”

27. The first thing you order at a restaurant? “Can I please have your WiFi password?”

28. And, mobile phones are now part of a table setting – next to the salad fork perhaps?

29. The bane of your mobile experience? Websites not optimised for mobile screens.

30. Do you remember the last time you turned off your mobile phone to be completely offline? I bet you don’t.

31. Some people’s idea of being offline is placing mobile phones face down to resist the temptation of notifications.

32. You may have hundreds of apps, but 90% of the time you only use less than 10.

33. You read every comment – and replies to these comments – in a thread that you started.

34. You ‘Like’ social media posts randomly as a dose of social pill.

35. “Haha” or “LOL” is an accepted comment.

36. And you ‘Like’ that “Haha” or “LOL” comment.

37. You feel unpopular if your post got only two ‘Likes’.

38. You give your own meaning to emoticons or emojis.

39. You now read SMSes because they are so rare.

40. You think some friends are over-sharing.

41. But you didn’t realise you may be over-checking.

42. There are more mobile phones than notebooks during corporate meetings.

43. Your guilty pleasure: reading work emails during off-hours just because you can.

44. You scrolling speed is inversely correlated to level of interest in content.

45. One thumb wields more power than five fingers.

46. With Google, you feel all-knowing.

47. With Waze, you feel smart.

48. With Whatsapp, you feel connected.

49. With Instagram, you feel artistic.

50. With Facebook, you feel belonging.

And this list could go on.

Hello, marketers. Your media agency is calling a thousand times. They’re wondering why after all these years you’re still elusive on mobile. Many are already on the other side. Join us.